


When the Child is Found

by SummerRoses0612



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, BAMF Merlin (Merlin), Beta Mordred, Bottom Merlin (Merlin), Child Death, Child Loss, Childhood Memories, Confrontations, DO NOT COPY, Do not post to another site, Dragonlord Merlin (Merlin), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Father-Son Relationship, Good Mordred (Merlin), Grief/Mourning, Hurt Merlin (Merlin), Hurt/Comfort, Loss, M/M, Memories, Merlin Needs a Hug (Merlin), Misunderstandings, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega Merlin (Merlin), Parent-Child Relationship, Paternal Instinct, Protective Merlin, Recovered Memories, Repressed Memories, Reunions, Two Fathers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 03:09:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29818527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SummerRoses0612/pseuds/SummerRoses0612
Summary: When Merlin lost his child after only having him for 5 years he's crushed, only Will able to help him through the agony of losing his baby.When Merlin losses Will there is no one to confide in, the unfamiliar walls of Camelot more suffocating than ever.When Mordred shows up and looks so much like the child he lost, it's too much.ORWhen Merlin is an omega who was mated to Will. Everything goes canon until Mordred confronts Merlin about why he's so distant.
Relationships: Merlin & Mordred (Merlin), Merlin/Will (Merlin), Merlin/Will Past
Comments: 3
Kudos: 66





	1. Chapter 1

Merlin and Will were always close, the village muttering about how they were always going to end up together. They grew up side by side, Merlin only five summers old when they met to Will's six. When they were each seventeen summers old they each confessed their feelings to each other, words that felt so different than anything else they had ever said to each other coming just as easy as the rest of their relationship had. The bite that Merlin wore proudly on his neck wasn't a surprise to anyone, Hunith just hugging him tightly as he explained that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with his best friend. 

The mate bond was an amazing thing to experience, all buzzing emotion and youthful curiosity. They were young, only eighteen summers old, but Merlin had made his mind up a long time ago. 

The warlock found himself pregnant at twenty summers old. His magic had calmed with Will's help and the bond to draw from- allowing him to stay in the village long enough for the accusing whispers to fade into silence. They hadn't been trying for a baby, both just deciding to go with an 'if it happened it happened' mentality. 

Will found out in the fall, laying in the clearing they used to play hide and seek in. 

_"I'm pregnant," Merlin murmured between their lips, the words freeing something inside him he hadn't been aware was tense._

_The words seemed so simple when, in reality, it was one of the most pivotal moments of their lives._

_"I love you," Will responded after a long moment, his hand automatically going to Merlin's stomach._

_They nuzzled their noses and scent marked each other while Will explored the bump on his lover's stomach. The alpha knew that it couldn't have been there long, remembering how flat the omega's belly had been during his last heat, but he wondered how he could have possibly missed it. The gentle curve of his skinny lover was protecting their child, a baby they weren't sure they could have but would do their best to keep safe._

Medraut was born in the winter, screaming the second he was free from Merlin's body. The labor had been painful and long- the physician whispering among themselves that it was one of the most intense they had ever seen when they thought Merlin and Will were too caught up to notice. Will had held Merlin's hand the entire time, his strong body helping wedge Merlin's up so that he could push eaiser. His strong arms and gentle words had been the only thing that helped Merlin think through the agony of their baby pushing his was out in excruciating contractions. It was made worse by the way his magic longed to help ease the pain and hurry along the delivery but Merlin wouldn't have changed a damn thing.

Their son was beautiful- Will's nose and ears with Merlin's bright eyes and lips. He was the perfect combination of them both in every way possible.

-

Medraut grew quickly, his magic coming in at only a season's old much to Merlin's anxiety. As much as the warlock wouldn't wish the fear being magic brought he couldn't bring himself to regret the physical proof of his and Will's love. 

Merlin hated every second of teaching his baby how to hide the very vital part of himself magic was, hated it in such a way that made his glamoured eyes flash. He cried at night when they put Medraut to bed, grateful for Will's reassuring grip.

_"I know that it doesn't seem like it right now, but this is the only way that we can keep him safe. I know that you hate this just as much as I do but I refuse to let that beautiful body get crushed by a world that will never understand him," The alpha cooed gently, feeling helpless in a way that made him ache to wrap his small family up and keep them safe._

_"I never wanted this for any child of mine. We knew the risks and I truly didn't think that it would hurt this much to have to-" Merlin muttered hoarsely, his breath hitching over the weight of his unspoken words._

_"Oh, Angle," Will said, wrapping Merlin up tightly in his arms until his Mate's shaking stopped._

-

When Medraut was six summer's old Merlin made a stupid mistake that he could have never realized would change everything. 

Their baby had been climbing a tree, completely carefree in a way that Merlin hadn't seen him in a while. Their family of three had had to have the magic talk that fall, the way he sobbed when they told him the world wouldn't understand would be something that crushed Merlin forever but, it wouldn't change anything. 

The beta fell suddenly, barely giving a second for Merlin to react. The warlock's magic was quicker, gold flashing in Medraut's eyes as his Papa's magic caressed his own spark into making him lighter. The child laughed, babbling nonstop until he was finally all the way down. The beta would never understand the way that Merlin held him then, the magic floating over them both as the omega did his best to calm his beating heart. The beta would never understand just how terrified his Papa had been. 

He wouldn't understand anything anymore because neither of the warlocks heard the way a stick cracked under heavy boots as the knight hurried to report back to his master. 

-

When Medraut had just turned seven summer's old the king of Camelot came into Ealdor with his son and his knights. The prince was twenty to Merlin's twenty-seven, only a child in comparison to the life experiences the warlock remembered in excruciating detail. Cenred had allowed the royalty into Ealdor without care, waving a negligent hand and saying 'do as you must' while still managing to sound diplomatic about it. 

_"My knights have reported to me," The king started from where he was standing on boxes to be above the crowd, pausing dramatically to let his commanding voice fill the square. The entire village was forced to attend, the King's disregard for their schedules making him more entitled than anyone Merlin had ever met. "a child doing witchcraft. We will be coming to the parent's home to retrieve the child at dawn,"_

_Only years of hiding himself and his family allowed Merlin to keep a straight face. He ignored the way Medraut looked confused more than anything, ignored the way Will was holding himself too still for it to be natural, ignored the way his lungs froze in his throat as he realized that there was no way he was going to come out of this with his family still intact._

_-_

When they came for Medraut, Will and Merlin had already sent him into the woods. Merlin hoped that his child would find the druids but either way steadily neglected to think about the fact that he would never see his baby again. The beautiful boy's playful magic had long since gotten out of range, making that much harder not to sob as a piece of himself left with his darling boy.

_"Where is the boy?" Uther demanded the next morning, having gone door to door with the knight who had seen the child and not finding anything after ransacking their entire village._

_Nobody in the square said a word, ignoring the glaring absence of Merlin's boy. They may not have liked the family all that much in the beginning but the three had managed to win the townspeople over, only making the loss of Medraut that much more excruciating._

-

Will and Merlin sobbed desperately that night, their negative emotions feeding over the bond until neither of them could breathe over the crushing grief of losing their only child. The warlock's magic performed a completely instinctive spell that night that Merlin didn't bother to remove when he found out about it- it blocked his ability to get pregnant again. Merlin hadn't known that his magic could do that but, a year later when the knot in his chest still hadn't lessened even a little bit, he discussed it with Will.

_"I didn't know I could but sometime between losing- somewhere in the last year my magic found a way to stop myself from getting pregnant. I can remove it at any time but I think that it's probably best that I let it be," The warlock's voice broke when he tried to say his son's name, his brain instantly finding another way so that he didn't have to relive it. "I can't do that again," The omega begged for Will to understand, breaking down when the bond only echoed love, acceptance, and agreement._

_The sex that night was completely about comfort- gentle thrusting, and tender words getting them closer and closer until Merlin couldn't take it anymore. He came with a groan muffled against Will's mating bite, keening when the Alpha bit into his neck gently to stop his own pleasured noises._

_Neither of them mentioned the name of their son, not in the mood to break down when they had to get up early the next morning for work. It wasn't ideal- it was horrible- but it was life._

* * *

_ (Roseriley0@gmail.com) Email me if you would like to have a conversation about any of my stories or if you have a prompt/pairing that would like to request. Comments are always welcome as well! -Rose _


	2. Twice Over

When Medraut had been forced to leave them Merlin felt like his very soul had been ripped in two, even his magic crying out for the reassurance his baby's magic always gave him. The silver lining had been Will- was always Will. 

His Mate was just as broken as he was but he didn't allow either of them to break under the agony of knowing they would never see their child again. He forced them to act like everything was ok until they could go days without feeling ready to fall apart at one wrong word. The village left them alone, allowing the unspoken agony plain on their faces to speak for itself. 

-

When Merlin went to Camelot he was thirty summer's old it felt like freedom and a cage at the same time. He wanted to be a physician. The warlock had decided that long before he had ever been pregnant but life had gotten in the way. 

Will was content in Ealdor and Merlin needed something more, the distance helped by their active mating bond. They were completely committed to each other without a doubt, just as in love as they had been when it could still be considered innocent and childish if not more so. 

_"Sometimes love means letting go when you want to hold on tighter,"_

_The whispered words reassured Merlin more than anything else that they would be okay if he decided to make this decision for himself- so he did._

-

Arthur hadn't asked about the mating bite on his neck, for once allowing Merlin to be the one that brought it up.

_"My Mate is my best friend back in Ealdor. We are still together but the separation has been a good chance for us to grow into the people we can be without relying on each other," The warlock was thankful when Arthur ignored the way his voice sounded more like he was trying to convince himself than the blonde prince._

-

When Merlin lost Will he had no one. There wasn't a single knight who he felt comfortable telling everything to just in case Medraut was still alive and Arthur was too close to the situation to be anything but completely reassuring or dismissive- Merlin didn't want to know which one he'd choose.

-

Mordred was everything that Merlin had ever pictured his son being. The warlock was thirty-eight summer's old when they met for the first time- Mordred still only a boy. He was strong, brave, and unyielding- sweet but not a pushover, kind but not enough that he gave pieces of himself away for them to be stomped on. He knew his worth but he also knew humility. 

_'Medraut would have been nineteen the coming winter,'_

The thought hit Merlin out of nowhere.

He had been watching the knights train one moment and the next his brain hit him right where it hurt the most. Mordred had been thriving under the gentle praise of the other knights, growing leaps and bounds. Merlin had made desperate move after desperate move to try and keep some space between them- Medraut's name running through his head every time he saw Mordred's piercing eyes. 

The warlock knew that eventually the druid would corner him into talking, dreaded it just as much as he longed to get it over with. 

-

Mordred found Merlin sitting curled up against a wall in an abandoned part of the castle the day after Kira was locked up. He just copied Merlin, sitting the same way and content to just breathe for a moment.

It was the anniversary of Will's death, officially five years without his mate and twelve without his son. 

The boy didn't speak for a long while, only his hitched breathing telling Merlin that he was trying to speak.

"Why do you despise me so?" He asked finally, defeated in posture and words.

The complete lack of fight in the boy broke the last wall that had been trying to keep him from future heartbreak. He didn't let his magic go to Mordred's as it wanted, kept it bound tight to his body so that he could get through the conversation without blowing something up. The both of them ignored the way that his eyes shone their natural gold, his control too shaky to manage even that simple of a glamour. 

"When I was twenty summer's old I fell pregnant. My Mate was amazing with me the entire time, knew about my magic and the possibility of our baby inheriting it, and yet he still decided that he would like to have children with me,"

Merlin's voice was showing just how truly exhausted he was, the warlock not even having the energy to support himself to the point that his entire body was leaning on Mordred and the wall as he spoke. His tears were constant, the blurry image the warlock had of the world giving him twisted permission to just close his eyes and say what he needed to. 

"Medraut was just about to turn seven when he fell out of a tree and my magic instinctively brushed his into breaking the fall. His eyes lit gold and I was too hopped up on adrenaline and relief to realize that a scout had seen the entire thing,"

Mordred took in a sharp breath of surprise, memories of his childhood coming together to create a puzzle he wasn't sure that he wanted to understand but Merlin kept talking anyways, too caught in memories to realize just how much this was affecting the boy. 

"It only took another season for the King to come with his knights. He told the entire town that he was going to find the boy by dawn- already had the knights working on the stake that they were going to burn him at..." 

The warlock got lost again, memories flashing before his eyes until Mordred gently shook him out of it. 

"You don't have to," The boy murmured, getting ready to tell the warlock what he thought he had just realized before the man started talking again. 

"Will and I sent him into the woods. I can only hope to got that he found the druids or some other village before it was too late but I have no idea where he is or if he's even still alive-,"

Now that he had the chance to talk about it the words were coming too fast for Merlin to stop, half-thoughts and fears he had carried for years spilling out into the open air. Every single one of Merlin's instincts encouraged it, the last straw for him to finish his half-assed apology.

"-He would have been nineteen, your age, this last winter. You remind me of him so much- of what we had hoped he would become despite the fact that the entire world was against the very thing that made him unique. I'm sorry that I pushed you away in a place that you didn't have anyone else. I'm so sorry that I made you feel alone. I know what that feels like and I'm so so sorry that I let my fears control me enough that I did the same thing to you as was done to me-,"

Emrys didn't stop, apologies for every little thing coming out his mouth without a filter as he sobbed into Mordred's shoulder. He had only barely just stopped himself from scent-marking the boy, pulling back as his instincts urged him to protect the gentle, kindhearted soul he was resting on.

"Everything in my instincts tells me to protect you but I don't know if I can handle losing someone else," 

There was silence for a long time, the both of them lost in thought and absentmindedly petting each other in animal comfort.

"I don't remember much from when I was young. I think that my magic helped to repress my memories but from what I remember I know that I had two fathers who loved me so much they let me go when I know it broke something in them. I remember golden eyes that only went away when we went outside and the way my alpha father always smelled like the woods and fresh rainwater the same way my Papa smelled like thunder and vanilla," 

Merlin inhaled sharply as he saw all the ways that sounded familiar, instantly checking his scent blocker and only feeling more hopeful when he realized it had never come down.

"I remember how their mating mark always looked so cool to me- a symbol of their love just like I was-,"

Mordred visibly paused to collect himself before finishing his sentence, knowing that it would change everything.

"And I remember how it would glow a bluish gold whenever my Papa took the glamour off," 

At that Merlin couldn't control his magic anymore, the semi-sentient energy filling their pup and mixing with his magic as it should have been. The warlock and the druid shuddered under the weight of their blocked sire bond reopening- overwhelming joy and disbelief coming from both ends. 

They stay against the wall wrapped up in each other for so long Merlin lost feeling in his body.

"Would you like to continue talking in my room? Or maybe yours? My old bones can't take sitting on the stone for hours anymore," Merlin said while exaggeratedly slow movements, delighting in his son's giggle and smiling widely when the boy helped him up.

They went to Medraut's room, where they talked for hours. It was about everything and nothing and by the time they had been speaking for hours and nobody had interrupted it Merlin thought it was a dream. It only took a moment for the feeling to got through the parental bond they had- Mordred instantly cuddling them closer and aggressively scent-marking his Papa.

Surrounded by the smell of his pup and the way their scents mixed made Merlin ache for Will- for more of the small traces of his Mate's scent than what he could get from the mate mark on his neck. 

For once he wasn't alone in his grief- both lost together in their despair over lost opportunities and memories.

There was so much they had to discuss and things that they had to consider but at that moment Merlin was calmer than he had been since the day Medraut was taken from them.

* * *

_(Roseriley0612@gmail.com) Email or comment if you have any pairings/prompts for me. Hope you enjoyed! -Rose_


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